This is why such a soul experiences excessive sadness and despair soon as signs of its own lack of integrity show up, with the consequence that it immediately feels unacceptable to God.  That’s why a sick soul is always hiding the truth from itself, the mechanism for which is endless self-justification. And why the correction of such a soul is always taken as rejection.
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On Helping Souls That Are Being Tried
Do not lose your serenity on account of those who are being tried.  Pray for them; offer the sufferings of My Passion and some acts of self-denial, some self-imposed sufferings for them.”
Jesus to Sister Mary of the Holy Trinity
 
When souls are being tried, what they need from you is deeper love of Me—so that, through you, I may give them the grace they need.  So you see, you need your serenity even more at such times.  Do not try to buy peace for souls by losing your own!  Offer up your act of self-denial at such times, so that the soul who is suffering may get the grace to accept in joy what she cannot change—through your free offering of love.  You will see more and more how you are all instruments in the communication of My Love, for one another as for yourselves.  The more you will understand that, the more you will love one another.
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On Feeling Unloved
Only the realization that I love you now, I, Jesus, who know all your misery, all your sins, the failure of your whole life, only the knowledge that I Who know how underserving you are of anyone‘s love, yet love you nevertheless with the Love of God Himself, can take away the pain and anxiety of feeling unloved by so many persons, and not undeservedly.
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 The Age of St. Bernard’s is not like Ours.
St. Bernard, commenting on the Canticle (Song of Songs)

"Or perhaps, drawn away and seduced by his own concupiscence, he is still being dangerously tempted. Such a soul as this does not need a Bridegroom but a Physician, and for this reason receives, not kisses or caresses, surely, but only remedies for wounds in oil and ointments."

Yes, Bernard, in your time this was true — for the time had not yet come to force men willy-nilly from the highways and byways to the wedding feast. Men were still strong and able to overcome concupiscence with a help of the Physician less than the Kiss of His Mouth, less than the embrace of His intimacy. But now we are as children, impatient as we are weak, and needing, therefore, to be fondled and kissed by the Mother and her spouse, by Mary and Jesus.  0 Bernard, those of your age, who could help yourselves, needed the Physician only to supply the ointments of which you speak. But we need the Kiss of this Bridegroom who condescends to the weakness of little ones, like this little one who is too weak to help himself and therefore cries out:
"Let him kiss me with the kiss of his mouth, for thy breasts are better than wine.  For my justification now is not that I am healed by the ointments of the Physician, but that I am in the arms of His Mother, that it is her purity that makes me worthy of His embrace, not my virtue."
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If Something Is Painful
It seems I always assume that if something is painful, it is evil and to be avoided. Then, when I am suffering, I begin to think, and I do not rest until I have discovered some truth which I hope will remove the pain. But I do not think I do this only because I want to avoid suffering: it is rather that I look upon suffering as a sign that I am wrong somehow, that God is displeased with me, and therefore something in me must be changed.
    

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Posting Thirteen

    
On Feeling Unwanted
You feel unwanted?  You desire to be loved by others?  That is natural: it is a sign of your origin, of the Blessed Trinity where My Father and I are united in the intimacy of the Holy Spirit, in One Identical Divine Nature.  If God is Love, is it any wonder that you crave love?  If God is the Intimacy of Union, is it not natural that you should want to be united each with the other?  Do you think that I would want that less than you do?  Think of My commandment at the Last Supper, the summing up of everything I taught!
 
The glory which thou hast given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and thou in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that thou has sent me and hast loved them even as thou has loved me.
(Jn 17:22-23)
 
Yes, it is My Will that you love one another, and it pains Me when you fail in that.  But now think further with Me.  I am God.  When others do not seem to love you, does that not fall under My Loving Providence for you?  Ah, if you understood My need to be loved by you, My need to give Myself to you, you would see everything as the work of My Love, especially those things that hurt you the most; you would understand your pain as only the stratagem of My Love — by which I would draw you to Myself.  If you had confidence in My Love for you, you would realize that only what I want matters.  You would see that I want you to suffer through others only so that I can love you, and them in you, you first and others through you.  When you are hurt by others, I keep hidden from you how much of your suffering is for them, what part is for yourself.  That is how I treat my little victim!  I treat you as I treat Myself!  You suffer with Me, seeing all miseries only in yourself.
 
Do you not see how necessary it is for you to become conformed to the Love, not of a human person, but of God Himself?  Do you think you are able to receive My Love when your whole being craves the affection of human persons?  Do you understand, therefore, that it is necessary to suffer, to be separated from the objects which conform to your human nature?  How, otherwise, could I prepare you for Myself, if I did not send you suffering?  That is the very essence of suffering — do you not see it? — to be separated from your heart’s desire, from what conforms to your very being.  Could you, then, become united with Me without being wrenched from your natural desires?  Think! for you must learn to suffer with joy, as I have suffered, and you will rejoice in your suffering only when you learn to recognize nothing but Love in what breaks your little heart.  Ask Me for the grace to understand this: It is a very great gift, and it is the secret of becoming holy very quickly.  Without this understanding you are constantly closing your heart to the Love I want to pour into it — but I can only give you as much as you want.
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Am I Not Enough For  You?
49.  “Am I not enough for you?  Is it not sufficient for you to know that your Jesus loves you?”
--Jesus to Sister Mary of the Holy Trinity
Tan Books 1981
 
Yes, you say that I am all you desire, and that is true.  Yet, when you are deprived of things you love, you become disconsolate.  Do you not see a contradiction in this?  If I am all you desire, and you can always have Me, as you know, and since everything that happens to you is the expression of My Love for you, why do you become disconsolate?  Do you not see that your love needs to be purified?  Do you not see that I permit those sad experiences only to purify it, to show its deficiencies, to move you to think?  No, there is nothing wrong in being sad.  That is not what I mean.  I Myself was sadder than anyone else could possibly be.  Sadness is not wrong in itself.  On the contrary, it is necessary and inevitable: I will it for you.  No! what is wrong, is sadness without joy.  I never will for you to be separated from your joy, your joy in Me — and the greater your joy in Me, the more sadness you will be able to bear, with Me.
 
Yes, you have to think, you have to use your mind very much, but always in the light of the faith, always in the realization of My Love for you — in order to grow in your love for Me.  How little that is understood!  “As a thing is, so does it act.”  As your faith is, so do you act.  Your faith exists in your reason: it is a certain elevation of your reason which enables you to know the secret things of God, and to love Him in the Light of that knowledge.  Do you not see, then, that your very act of faith must be an act of your reason?  And therefore when you do not think by the Light of Faith you do not love Me.  How could you love Me, how could you desire to be united with Me as I am without knowing Me as I am?  Yes, it is when you give up thinking in faith that you are drawn to an object of love which conforms to your nature, the nature you have in yourself.  It is then that you are tempted to look upon Me, at least implicitly, as a kind of monster who does not appreciate the depth of your love for him and how much you suffer for him.  Yes, when you withdraw from Me, from the Light of Truth, you slip back into those lies by which you tried for so long in the past (in vain because of My Mercy) to justify yourself.  You do not see it, but that is the beginning of hatred for Me.  It is exactly what Satan is always seeking to convince you of.  If only you would recognize how much you cooperate with him!  But my just man lives by faith.  That is what it means to live by faith, to use your understanding, enlightened by the revealed knowledge of My Love for you, always to love Me more and more, to be grateful for everything I send you in the realization that it is the work of My Love.
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Yes, it is true that when you are not loving one another, you are not loving Me.  It is true that as you fail in loving one another, you fail, each of you in herself, in loving Me.  But it is also true that your very failures could teach you to love Me more.  That is why I permit them, to teach you, by using the very miseries you see in yourself to draw you to Me after they have opened your heart.  As it is in your personal failures with Me, so it is with your failures in your relations with one another.  And so you can always love Me more when you suffer in your heart, in My Heart, because of your failure to love others in your life.  When you are grieved in Me because of that failure, I am grieved with you and for you.  When you are grieved because you have not loved your brothers and sisters, you are  loving them, in Me.  That is how I give you the grace to love one another — through your failures.  The deficiencies I show you are never a “problem.”  Rather, I should say, they are the true problem.  A true problem always has a solution, and the solution is always the same — because I am always the same.  The solution of a true problem, the problem of how to love as you should, is to let Me love you and show you My Will, to accept what is defective in yourself as My Will for you now, at that moment.  When you want only what I want for you now, at this moment, I provide what I want for you at the next moment.  But what you call a “problem” has no solution, because you want something I do not want.  Then you make a “problem” out of that, and wonder why I do not help you solve it!  
If you will examine yourself on this, you will discover that your false problem always reduces to this, how to attain a good outside of Me.  How to get something which I do not want you to have.  For example, you are not successful in overcoming a certain temptation.  You make a false problem out of this when you are not willing to accept My actual Will for you at this point, namely that you fail in your effort to overcome the temptation.  Does this mean that I will what is evil?  You know I do not!  But it does mean that I permit you to fail.  How, otherwise, would you fail?  Is the evil greater than I? 

And what is worse, you hide your resistance to My Will under the appearance of a virtuous desire, the desire to overcome evil.   (At times you are even tempted to think that it is I Who do not want you to overcome it!)  Then you begin to wonder why you continue to fail when you ”pray” so much to Me, and try so hard by your own effort.  Is it any wonder that, in this state, I would appear as a monster?  But the real monster is yourself, the liar who will not believe in My Love for you, who is more disposed to believe in the purity of your own love than in Mine, and who even prays to Me, the Truth, to cooperate with you and help you in your lies.  And why, do you think, I refuse to help you?  The fact is I am helping you to see the truth about yourself.  But you do not want Me to help you to do that.  You want Me to help you to convince yourself that you have some virtue in yourself which you do not have.  You want Me to help you to get along without Me!
 
And so here, in this problem of loving one another, the grace I am giving you now is the grace you need now, the grace to see how little is the love you have for one another.  What you would want would be to rejoice in the love you have for one anther outside of Me!  And then you wonder why I do not give you the “grace” for that!  My child, do you see how much I must save you from yourself?  Do you see how many things you ask for which would destroy you if I gave them to you?  Ponder this truth very much, that each thing I send you is the gift of My Loving Wisdom, that it is just what you need at the moment I send it to you, to grow in your love of Me.  But you must use the intelligence I gave you to convince yourself of this truth.   The trouble is you do not do this, you do not try to understand My Loving Wisdom, and then you are motivated in your feeling by your wisdom.  What can I do, then, except to let you taste the bitter fruit of your wisdom?  But the more you think in order to understand My Loving Providence for you, the more you will see that I am always taking care of you, always providing just what you need.  I am your Wisdom.  Hate your own wisdom!
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The Necessity of Storms of the Heart and Soul
 43.“Just as storms are necessary in nature, so are they necessary in every living soul.”
--Jesus to Sister Mary of the Holy Trinity
Tan Books 1981
 
Yes, storms are necessary, spiritual storms, to separate you from attachments which could not be broken otherwise, to shake a soul loose from itself.  Such storms seem cruel to you, and in a way they are cruel — they are so painful because the attachment from which they are breaking you is so deep.  Without realizing it, you are constantly judging everything, what I do to you, as well as what others do, by how it feels to yourself.  And so you naturally judge that I am cruel (if you dared to put it into words, that is what you would say) because you do not see how cruel you yourself are, to yourself as well as to Me — really to Me in yourself.  But when you understand Me, when you truly see how anxious I am to give Myself to you, what seemed like cruelty will be known as love.  For I have to separate you from things you would never give up of your own accord — in order to open your heart to Mine.  That is why it is so important for you to understand Me — and yourself: otherwise you will not be disposed to cooperate with the trials and sufferings My Love sends you.  If you endure them at all, it will be in looking upon yourself as a ‘martyr’ — as you crucify Me!  And then, instead of opening your heart to My Love, the effect of your sufferings will be to close your heart to Mine even more.
 
Yes, you must understand the violence of your attachments in order to submit lovingly to the violence of My storms — and above everything else, you must be overwhelmingly convinced of My Love for you at each moment, so that nothing will cause you to doubt it. 
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Shadows of the Heart
45.  “So many anxieties and shadows in your heart!  Think of Me, of Me — perfect Beauty, Splendor, Peace, Life, Truth, Holiness — of Me, your God who loves you!
     “Give Me your heart — your whole heart. 
And do you not also wish to give Me your life?  I desire it. 
I have need of it.”
--Jesus to Sister Mary of the Holy Trinity
Tan Books 1981
 
Why do you keep thinking of yourself?  Why are you still seeking goodness in yourself apart from Me?  Do you not see that anxieties and shadows are the signs of preoccupation with yourself, of your self-reliance, your self-love?  My Heart is always waiting for you, always open to you.  Do you see how often you fail to believe this?  How often you give way to all sorts of anxieties because you try to overcome the very difficulties I put in your path in order to bring you to Me, by your own powers, outside of My Heart, in yourself?  If only you would understand this, that your joy is only in your union with Me, your strength is My Strength when you are in Me, your meekness is in being justified by Me, your love is My Love, Myself Whom I give to you.  Come to Me now, and at each moment of life that I give you, the moment I give you for only one purpose, to be in My Heart!
Unless you give Me everything, I cannot give you everything — unless you give Me yourself, I cannot give you Myself.  Do not be solicitous for ‘virtues’ with which to clad your body!  Let Me give you everything!  When I ask for your life, it is not because your life can add anything to Mine.  I ask for your life, for everything without any restrictions or qualifications, because that is what I need in order to give you My Life, to yourself — and to others.
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I Want You To Be Altogether Mine
46.  “It is such a great thing to belong to Me!  What does anything else
matter to you?  Be full of joy at belonging to Me.  I want you to be
altogether Mine!”
--Jesus to Sister Mary of the Holy Trinity
Tan Books 1981
 
If you will be altogether Mine, you will have everything you need — and so will all the souls I have given you to bring to Me.  If only you understood My Heart!  But you will understand My Heart only by giving Me yours.  You give Me your heart when you study how to remove the many deep impediments to My Love which you have cultivated all your life, and which enslave you — to yourself and to Satan.