This is why such a soul experiences excessive sadness and despair soon as signs of its own lack of integrity show up, with the consequence that it immediately feels unacceptable to God.  That’s why a sick soul is always hiding the truth from itself, the mechanism for which is endless self-justification. And why the correction of such a soul is always taken as rejection.
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On Helping Souls That Are Being Tried
Do not lose your serenity on account of those who are being tried.  Pray for them; offer the sufferings of My Passion and some acts of self-denial, some self-imposed sufferings for them.”
Jesus to Sister Mary of the Holy Trinity
 
When souls are being tried, what they need from you is deeper love of Me—so that, through you, I may give them the grace they need.  So you see, you need your serenity even more at such times.  Do not try to buy peace for souls by losing your own!  Offer up your act of self-denial at such times, so that the soul who is suffering may get the grace to accept in joy what she cannot change—through your free offering of love.  You will see more and more how you are all instruments in the communication of My Love, for one another as for yourselves.  The more you will understand that, the more you will love one another.
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On Feeling Unloved
Only the realization that I love you now, I, Jesus, who know all your misery, all your sins, the failure of your whole life, only the knowledge that I Who know how underserving you are of anyone‘s love, yet love you nevertheless with the Love of God Himself, can take away the pain and anxiety of feeling unloved by so many persons, and not undeservedly.
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 The Age of St. Bernard’s is not like Ours.
St. Bernard, commenting on the Canticle (Song of Songs)

"Or perhaps, drawn away and seduced by his own concupiscence, he is still being dangerously tempted. Such a soul as this does not need a Bridegroom but a Physician, and for this reason receives, not kisses or caresses, surely, but only remedies for wounds in oil and ointments."

Yes, Bernard, in your time this was true — for the time had not yet come to force men willy-nilly from the highways and byways to the wedding feast. Men were still strong and able to overcome concupiscence with a help of the Physician less than the Kiss of His Mouth, less than the embrace of His intimacy. But now we are as children, impatient as we are weak, and needing, therefore, to be fondled and kissed by the Mother and her spouse, by Mary and Jesus.  0 Bernard, those of your age, who could help yourselves, needed the Physician only to supply the ointments of which you speak. But we need the Kiss of this Bridegroom who condescends to the weakness of little ones, like this little one who is too weak to help himself and therefore cries out:
"Let him kiss me with the kiss of his mouth, for thy breasts are better than wine.  For my justification now is not that I am healed by the ointments of the Physician, but that I am in the arms of His Mother, that it is her purity that makes me worthy of His embrace, not my virtue."
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If Something Is Painful
It seems I always assume that if something is painful, it is evil and to be avoided. Then, when I am suffering, I begin to think, and I do not rest until I have discovered some truth which I hope will remove the pain. But I do not think I do this only because I want to avoid suffering: it is rather that I look upon suffering as a sign that I am wrong somehow, that God is displeased with me, and therefore something in me must be changed.
    

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Servant of God

   The author of the meditations on this website (and the drawing to the right)  was  a 20th Century spiritual director of priests,  religious and lay people.  Despite living in chosen obsecurity, he  had a profound  effect on many lives.
Most  of these meditations were written in Rome in the 1960-1961 timeframe, at a time of personal spiritual trial and growth.  During this period of the author's  life, he became a spiritual son of Padre Pio.
Before his death in 1980, one of the priests under his spiritual direction had opportunity to read these meditations and 
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Resurrection


 asked if they might be pubished.  His spiritual father agreed to their publication but only after his death, and on the strict condition that their author be kept anonymous. That priest  later imparted the meditations to the individual responsible for the present website,  who after  decades of delay now publishes them with a prayer that others might benefit from them as much as have he and his spiritual brothers and sisters.

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The following are among private revelations that the author of these meditations received while he was in Rome and recorded in his journal.
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Darkness and silence, the darkness and silence of the tomb, that is what I want from you now.  I will take care of everything else.  Yes, the corruption of the whole world is in your flesh — that is how you are bringing the world back to Me — by your silence, your silent love of Me in the knowledge of your corruption.  This is the way I have given you to glorify Me.  There is no other way for you.  Will you give yourself to Me this way?
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Do not think that your writing is something gratuitous which you are free either to do or not to do. No, it is not that way.  You depend on what you write more than anyone else — because when you write you listen to Me, but when you neglect to write you listen to yourself and you get more and more absorbed in your own thoughts and in conjectures which are the farthest removed from Me.