This is why such a soul experiences excessive sadness and despair soon as signs of its own lack of integrity show up, with the consequence that it immediately feels unacceptable to God.  That’s why a sick soul is always hiding the truth from itself, the mechanism for which is endless self-justification. And why the correction of such a soul is always taken as rejection.
(more)
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On Helping Souls That Are Being Tried
Do not lose your serenity on account of those who are being tried.  Pray for them; offer the sufferings of My Passion and some acts of self-denial, some self-imposed sufferings for them.”
Jesus to Sister Mary of the Holy Trinity
 
When souls are being tried, what they need from you is deeper love of Me—so that, through you, I may give them the grace they need.  So you see, you need your serenity even more at such times.  Do not try to buy peace for souls by losing your own!  Offer up your act of self-denial at such times, so that the soul who is suffering may get the grace to accept in joy what she cannot change—through your free offering of love.  You will see more and more how you are all instruments in the communication of My Love, for one another as for yourselves.  The more you will understand that, the more you will love one another.
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On Feeling Unloved
Only the realization that I love you now, I, Jesus, who know all your misery, all your sins, the failure of your whole life, only the knowledge that I Who know how underserving you are of anyone‘s love, yet love you nevertheless with the Love of God Himself, can take away the pain and anxiety of feeling unloved by so many persons, and not undeservedly.
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 The Age of St. Bernard’s is not like Ours.
St. Bernard, commenting on the Canticle (Song of Songs)

"Or perhaps, drawn away and seduced by his own concupiscence, he is still being dangerously tempted. Such a soul as this does not need a Bridegroom but a Physician, and for this reason receives, not kisses or caresses, surely, but only remedies for wounds in oil and ointments."

Yes, Bernard, in your time this was true — for the time had not yet come to force men willy-nilly from the highways and byways to the wedding feast. Men were still strong and able to overcome concupiscence with a help of the Physician less than the Kiss of His Mouth, less than the embrace of His intimacy. But now we are as children, impatient as we are weak, and needing, therefore, to be fondled and kissed by the Mother and her spouse, by Mary and Jesus.  0 Bernard, those of your age, who could help yourselves, needed the Physician only to supply the ointments of which you speak. But we need the Kiss of this Bridegroom who condescends to the weakness of little ones, like this little one who is too weak to help himself and therefore cries out:
"Let him kiss me with the kiss of his mouth, for thy breasts are better than wine.  For my justification now is not that I am healed by the ointments of the Physician, but that I am in the arms of His Mother, that it is her purity that makes me worthy of His embrace, not my virtue."
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If Something Is Painful
It seems I always assume that if something is painful, it is evil and to be avoided. Then, when I am suffering, I begin to think, and I do not rest until I have discovered some truth which I hope will remove the pain. But I do not think I do this only because I want to avoid suffering: it is rather that I look upon suffering as a sign that I am wrong somehow, that God is displeased with me, and therefore something in me must be changed.
    

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41st Posting
(The Meditations are updated weekly)

A Servant's Song
The Journey of a Soul  

Jesus, love me, because only Your Love can make me worthy of Your Love
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I love you, with your defects.  
That is why I hate your defects — because they keep Me  from loving you more.

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Rectifying a False Conscience
A false conscience consists precisely in this,
that a person is convinced that God wants him to do of himself what he knows he himself cannot do,  and that what he cannot do of himself he is convinced he cannot do at all. 
Whereas the truth of the matter is that it is God's purpose to urge him to ask for
the grace to be able to do what God asks of him.  But that is subjectively inconceivable to a troubled soul.

And therefore the troubled soul
succumbs to temptation, yet he can hardly believe 
it is sin, since he feels powerless to overcome it. And so on the one hand he feels withdrawn from God as unable to please Him, on the other he is drawn to
the idea of his complete innocence, which would then lead him to deny the objectivity of a faith which commands what is impossible (reminiscent of Luther).


And if this is the crux of the troubled state, clearly then the essential cure will consist in rectifying the false conscience, convincing it that its relation to God is based purely on God's Goodness, and that one's
very impotence for doing good is a claim, in Christ, to God's Merciful aid.
And then it must be explained that this
aid by its very nature moves the will to act freely in turning to God away from temptation, that each moment is a new reality, that whatever one's fault
or sin in the previous moment, in this present one God is actually loving him, and waits only for His Gift to be accepted — that only this Gift of God's Love can give him the strength for the next moment, etc.


Thus, it seems to me, in the intimacy of communication between the soul and its "Father," Jesus reforms the conscience, disposing the soul more and more to a practical and efficacious belief in the power of God's grace,

and with this, the realization arises that the soul is the object of an infinitely merciful Paternal Love.
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January 28th 1961 (Rome)
0 Jesus, it is true that I had been taught to think that there was something wrong in the desire to be consoled, to be filled with peace and joy — as though this consolation, this joy and peace would deny my sins and the evil in myself.

Yes, there is a false consolation, a false peace and a false joy, which are founded on the lie of my own goodness. But even worse is the lie which denies Your Mercy, the Spirit of Consolation Whom You send, and Your Peace.  
And Your Spirit of Consolation,­
since You are Truth, is the Spirit of Truth,
so that there are no illusions about myself — it is only the Goodness of God Who consoles me (not because I am conformed to Him) but Who conforms me to Himself even as He consoles me.
How grateful I am to You, Jesus, for this Best of Gifts, and the gift of understanding which teaches me to rejoice in You and in Your Consolation, even as I am crucified by my sins.
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If only you saw how quickly, how spontaneously, you become attached to one form or another of created good, a good you have experienced and which you then, without realizing it, identify with the Good.
And then, by that very rigidity of spirit, you are unable to recognize a new form of love and consolation that My Spirit brings you!  As though you would set bounds to the Holy Spirit Himself!
But think, why do you do this? Do you not see that underneath all this is your need for consolation — a need which you try to supply yourself in this way.
Therefore now you must understand that nothing, nothing can take the place of your simple faith in this truth, that I give you My Spirit of Consolation — always — that I want you always to be consoled and
peaceful in the knowledge that you are loved and that I do take My delight in you.
Yes, that is what I am teaching you now, to rest in My Consolation so that you may be nailed with Me to My Cross.
Because that is the truth — without the joy of
your consolation in Me you cannot suffer in Me — and the more you suffer in Me, the greater will be your consolation in Me.
Despair is the monstrous fruit of duplicity. Because when you do not acknowledge to yourself the evil which you desire, and which more or less dominates your life — or would dominate it were it not for My grace — God Himself cannot help you to overcome it,
because you do not ask Him to. In fact you ask God to help you convince yourself of a lie. 
And then, persuaded of your good will and unable to resist what in fact you do not want to resist —you only want to appear to resist it — you become convinced that God does not want to give you the grace you need — and that conviction is despair.
And therefore the only cure is to confront the
plain truth, that it is you yourself, not God,
who does not want the temptation to be overcome.
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It is the lies in your soul that deprive you of
peace and consolation — lies that draw you to seek consolation in yourself, by denying your sins. But you can have the consolation of Jesus only in the truth. That is how pride and egotism destroy peace — by destroying truth — the simple truth that you need Jesus always, at each moment — and that He is always waiting to give Himself to you more.
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You can see too that a disturbed soul feels it must be what it is not to please God, that it must be what it cannot be.

No! He Who is can love you only as you
are
. It is yourself, not He, who will not accept
yourself as you are.
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0 Jesus, restore my soul to harmony and order by the peaceful joy of Your Consolation — now! that I may love You now in a child's response to the embrace of its Father!
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Jesus! Jesus! Truth! Truth! Love! ... to be loved and to love only in the Truth!
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Truth is the opening of the soul to God's Love.
It is the Spirit of Truth Who consoles, and therefore His consolation can be only in the truth — the truth of God's Love and my abject misery — hopeless and filled with hope. Jesus!
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As Jesus is One with the Father only in the Love of the Holy Spirit, so I am one with Jesus only in the Love of that same Spirit.
0 Jesus, how can I be consoled unless I know that You are loving me now? And how can I be convinced that You are loving me unless I know that the Power of Your Love has conformed me, who am so corrupt, to Yourself. Therefore create a right heart in me, that I may be consoled knowing that I am loved even as I know that I am being made worthy to be loved by that same Love Which loves me!
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0 Jesus, You have told us, not only that You give us peace, but that You give us Your Peace. But what is Your Peace except to be united with the Father in the Love of the Holy Spirit. And therefore, not without reason did You promise Your Peace right after You had told us that the Holy Spirit would be sent to us by the Father in Your Name.

And therefore in the Love of that same Spirit, I am united with the Father, being in You, being one Mystical Substance with You.
0 my Jesus! Truly — not as the world gives — to be one with the Father in You, in the Love of the Holy Spirit! . . . Jesus!

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