This is why such a soul experiences excessive sadness and despair soon as signs of its own lack of integrity show up, with the consequence that it immediately feels unacceptable to God.  That’s why a sick soul is always hiding the truth from itself, the mechanism for which is endless self-justification. And why the correction of such a soul is always taken as rejection.
On Helping Souls That Are Being Tried
Do not lose your serenity on account of those who are being tried.  Pray for them; offer the sufferings of My Passion and some acts of self-denial, some self-imposed sufferings for them.”
Jesus to Sister Mary of the Holy Trinity
When souls are being tried, what they need from you is deeper love of Me—so that, through you, I may give them the grace they need.  So you see, you need your serenity even more at such times.  Do not try to buy peace for souls by losing your own!  Offer up your act of self-denial at such times, so that the soul who is suffering may get the grace to accept in joy what she cannot change—through your free offering of love.  You will see more and more how you are all instruments in the communication of My Love, for one another as for yourselves.  The more you will understand that, the more you will love one another.
On Feeling Unloved
Only the realization that I love you now, I, Jesus, who know all your misery, all your sins, the failure of your whole life, only the knowledge that I Who know how underserving you are of anyone‘s love, yet love you nevertheless with the Love of God Himself, can take away the pain and anxiety of feeling unloved by so many persons, and not undeservedly.
 The Age of St. Bernard’s is not like Ours.
St. Bernard, commenting on the Canticle (Song of Songs)

"Or perhaps, drawn away and seduced by his own concupiscence, he is still being dangerously tempted. Such a soul as this does not need a Bridegroom but a Physician, and for this reason receives, not kisses or caresses, surely, but only remedies for wounds in oil and ointments."

Yes, Bernard, in your time this was true — for the time had not yet come to force men willy-nilly from the highways and byways to the wedding feast. Men were still strong and able to overcome concupiscence with a help of the Physician less than the Kiss of His Mouth, less than the embrace of His intimacy. But now we are as children, impatient as we are weak, and needing, therefore, to be fondled and kissed by the Mother and her spouse, by Mary and Jesus.  0 Bernard, those of your age, who could help yourselves, needed the Physician only to supply the ointments of which you speak. But we need the Kiss of this Bridegroom who condescends to the weakness of little ones, like this little one who is too weak to help himself and therefore cries out:
"Let him kiss me with the kiss of his mouth, for thy breasts are better than wine.  For my justification now is not that I am healed by the ointments of the Physician, but that I am in the arms of His Mother, that it is her purity that makes me worthy of His embrace, not my virtue."
If Something Is Painful
It seems I always assume that if something is painful, it is evil and to be avoided. Then, when I am suffering, I begin to think, and I do not rest until I have discovered some truth which I hope will remove the pain. But I do not think I do this only because I want to avoid suffering: it is rather that I look upon suffering as a sign that I am wrong somehow, that God is displeased with me, and therefore something in me must be changed.

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Posting 34
Do you see why you need to suffer injustices, how necessary they are for your sanctification?
You are made just by Me, by receiving your justification from Me. But you cannot receive My justification so long as you find your peace in your own.
And only I know how attached you are to your self-justification. And only I know how and when to wean you from it. That is the meaning and purpose of the injustices I permit you to suffer. They are medicine for your soul.
Under their attack, your hidden attachment to your own justification of yourself shows itself in your resentment and your indignation.
And then, set free by your anger, your critical spirit begins to attack the person who had offended you. And then, since you are no longer actually loving Me in him, you feel separated from Me — naturally since you are no longer loving Me
(you cannot be loving Me and not loving Me at the same time).
And then, My beloved child, you realize, in Me, that something is wrong, and in your heart you ask Me to show you why you have lost your peace. And this is what I show you, that all this has happened to you because I love you so much, because I will to remove from your soul any trace of self-righteousness, so that I can fill you with My Righteousness, My Justification, Mine alone, the perfect poverty of your spirit.
"Blessed, are you when you shall suffer persecution for My sake"  

— yes, for My sake. You are blessed tien because, in your meekness, in Me, your anger turns on itself, and becoming indignant, not with others, but with yourself — seeing how much you are disposed to attack Me in others to justify yourself.
And then, being emptied of self-love and self-justification, you are filled with My Love and My Justification. And so your reward in heaven will be very great. But not only in heaven, for already on earth, you have the reward of happiness in My Peace which I give to you.
Here is something that I wrote recently in a letter to one of my spiritual children, which I think may be helpful to you:
By habit you live, not by faith, but you live by your imagination. There are, of course, many psychological reasons for this, and it will help to see them, in the right order; but the essential point is that you must recognize
 1) that you have not been living very much by faith,
2) that it is wrong not to, and sinful,
3) that you are able to, because God gives, infallibly, the grace you need, to do what He asks,
4) you will never be happy until you consecrate yourself to this one thing, to live by faith.

What does it mean "to live by faith?"
First of all you have to realize that faith is a virtue that exists in your reason. That means that the operation of faith is an operation of reason  —     
"As a thing is, so does it act."
And therefore when you allow your reason to judge contrary to the Faith, you are sinning against Faith. There are, of course, many facets of the Faith, but the chief one for you (and it seems to me for almost everyone today) is to believe that God loves and provides what you need to love Him in this life and to be with Him forever in the next life. And it seems to me that you habitually judge the contrary, that you are not loved, and that you are not provided for.
It seems to me that the chief reason, psychologically, for this state of mind is your feeling of guilt, your deep conviction that, if the truth were really known, you do not deserve to be loved, and. therefore it is inconceivable that God loves you, since God knows all the truth about you.
And this means that your difficulty, basically, is a false conscience, and that you must, therefore, rectify that false conscience, and you must give the work of that rectification everything you have, because your happiness in this life and in the next depends on this.
It is not a question of one detail or another: No, this is the crisis of your whole life.
Here, then is what I want you to do:
You must take arms against your own thought, realizing that it is motivated by your imagination, which in turn, is motivated by that feeling of guilt, the feeling that you do not deserve to be loved.
You must understand that in this way your practical intellect has been deformed, that it is, therefore, quite contrary to the Faith, BECAUSE YOUR RATIONAL CONVICTION, THE ONE BY WHICH YOU LIVE AND ACT FOR THE MOST PART, IS THAT GOD LOVES A PERSON BECAUSE HE DESERVES T0 BE LOVED.  AND THAT IS WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.
The Blessed Virgin herself is lovable only because of what God has done to her. Those are her very own words, "because He Who is Mighty has done great things to me."
And you must see that this is the teaching of Jesus and of His Church  —
"I have chosen you, you have not chosen Me."
And you must see, therefore, how vitally, practically, in the things that you do and think through the day (every human act is an act of reason), you judge and act by a contrary principle, namely that God is not loving you because you do not deserve to be loved.

And seeing that you do this, and that it is wrong and sinful, you must resolve to change your thinking, to do violence to yourself in this very matter ("The kingdom of heaven suffers violence")  — and you must really fear, with an efficacious, objective fear, that your failure to do this will lead to your destruction, because it really will.
Do you see where I am leading you?
Everything that has been happening to you has only one purpose, to teach you your nothingness in yourself so that, like Me, and in Me, you may receive everything from the Father, and this at each moment of your existence, that you may be brought forth with Me and in Me by the Father, your time lost in Our Eternity.
I have been teaching you to understand My Heart, so that you may be purified in Me and with Me of everything that is not from the Father.
For so long I have seemed to be rejecting you, but it was I Who was sustaining you all the time and drawing you to Myself, all the while I was teaching you to believe and trust more and more in My Love for you.

And now I want you to understand this truth, which will bring you even closer to My Heart and prepare you for the continuous union of your heart in Mine for which I long so much.  
This is what I want you to understand and ponder until it becomes part of your very being, and I want you to teach it to all the souls I have given you. You see, you have not really penetrated the depth of My being in you and how My Love operates so secretly and silently within you, and, because you have not realized this, until now it has seemed to you that you would want Me to love you, and then you wonder whether I will answer your desire, your prayer.
Do you see? You think this way because you have not understood how everything good comes from Me, that the moment you think of Me and want Me to love you, that very desire does not come from yourself alone: You have that desire because it is My desire — it is I Who move you to ask Me for My Love, because I want to give it to you.
It is not as though you are separated from Me and then, if I am moved by your prayer, I will give you My Love.  No! You have My Love. I am loving you, and that is why you are asking me to love you, because I want to love you more, and in order to love you more you must be disposed to receive more — as I said,  "Ask, and you shall receive." And that is why I move you to ask.  

Do you see how I am always with you now? Do you see how I cannot bear to be separated from  you a single moment, but that My desire is to give Myself to you more at each moment?
Therefore I want  you to know that, more and more, in Me and with Me, you are being brought forth to My Likeness by the Father
in the Love of Our Spirit; I want you to penetrate more and more that in everything you do to seek My Love, you are being moved by the Father and by Myself in Our Love for One another — Which is One Thing with Our Love for you. I want you to understand how impatient We are for you to be totally in Us.
And therefore, in asking Me to love you, do not seek for what you do not have, for I am yours, and My Father is yours, and Our Spirit is yours — but ask only for what you know that We, in Our Infallible Love for you want to give to you, an always greater share in Our Happiness and in Our Being, because We love you so much, and because We want to take Our delight in you, always more and more.

The only meaning of your faults and the falls We permit, you can see now, is to purify always more and more your realization of your dependence on Us in the knowledge of your misery outside of Us.
But it is your temptation, when you see your weakness and inadequacy, to feel rejected, to think We do not love you, and therefore to give up. But now you must understand, so far is that from being the case, that the very joy you desire is the very joy We desire to give you — only you cannot conceive how much greater is the joy that We desire to give.

Charity sees no evil
because charity is in principle the Love proper to God, Whose Love does not love a preexistent beauty, but Whose Love creates the beauty which He loves.
And so it is with us — we love a soul in Jesus, not for what that soul is in itself, but for what
He made that soul to be. And this love is a prayer which moves Jesus to create the beauty of a soul which we see and love in Him. 
When we have cast out the beam of self-love from our own eye, we see that Jesus has done this to us, and that He loves us only for the beauty He sees in Himself, and in Mary — and then we know how to heal our neighbor, as we were healed, with love, not our love, but His. "Love one another as I have loved you."

Only the strength, the fortitude of God,
enables a soul to do what God wants:
It in only in loving Jesus that His fortitude is ours. When we interrupt our act of love, then we drop back into our own understanding, our own strength — which can only bring us to calamity.

"Without Me you can do nothing,"
therefore, when you have failed, when you have sinned, it was because you were not with Me. That is the meaning of sin, to teach you never to leave Me, never to let go of My Hand.
After you have sinned, then, knowing that I permitted that sin only to teach you this,
and paid for it with My Blood, come to Me quickly, with total confidence, in the knowledge that I want you infinitely more than you want Me.
The realization of your misery and of My Goodness is the moment to grow in My Love — by allowing Me to comfort you, to give you My Heart.

The act of love is everything because it opens the soul totally to the Love of Jesus.
Then the soul does what He wants because the soul is in contact with Him, thinking as He thinks, willing as He wills — caring about nothing else, a lily among lilies, where Jesus feeds, where He takes His delight.