This is why such a soul experiences excessive sadness and despair soon as signs of its own lack of integrity show up, with the consequence that it immediately feels unacceptable to God.  That’s why a sick soul is always hiding the truth from itself, the mechanism for which is endless self-justification. And why the correction of such a soul is always taken as rejection.
On Helping Souls That Are Being Tried
Do not lose your serenity on account of those who are being tried.  Pray for them; offer the sufferings of My Passion and some acts of self-denial, some self-imposed sufferings for them.”
Jesus to Sister Mary of the Holy Trinity
When souls are being tried, what they need from you is deeper love of Me—so that, through you, I may give them the grace they need.  So you see, you need your serenity even more at such times.  Do not try to buy peace for souls by losing your own!  Offer up your act of self-denial at such times, so that the soul who is suffering may get the grace to accept in joy what she cannot change—through your free offering of love.  You will see more and more how you are all instruments in the communication of My Love, for one another as for yourselves.  The more you will understand that, the more you will love one another.
On Feeling Unloved
Only the realization that I love you now, I, Jesus, who know all your misery, all your sins, the failure of your whole life, only the knowledge that I Who know how underserving you are of anyone‘s love, yet love you nevertheless with the Love of God Himself, can take away the pain and anxiety of feeling unloved by so many persons, and not undeservedly.
 The Age of St. Bernard’s is not like Ours.
St. Bernard, commenting on the Canticle (Song of Songs)

"Or perhaps, drawn away and seduced by his own concupiscence, he is still being dangerously tempted. Such a soul as this does not need a Bridegroom but a Physician, and for this reason receives, not kisses or caresses, surely, but only remedies for wounds in oil and ointments."

Yes, Bernard, in your time this was true — for the time had not yet come to force men willy-nilly from the highways and byways to the wedding feast. Men were still strong and able to overcome concupiscence with a help of the Physician less than the Kiss of His Mouth, less than the embrace of His intimacy. But now we are as children, impatient as we are weak, and needing, therefore, to be fondled and kissed by the Mother and her spouse, by Mary and Jesus.  0 Bernard, those of your age, who could help yourselves, needed the Physician only to supply the ointments of which you speak. But we need the Kiss of this Bridegroom who condescends to the weakness of little ones, like this little one who is too weak to help himself and therefore cries out:
"Let him kiss me with the kiss of his mouth, for thy breasts are better than wine.  For my justification now is not that I am healed by the ointments of the Physician, but that I am in the arms of His Mother, that it is her purity that makes me worthy of His embrace, not my virtue."
If Something Is Painful
It seems I always assume that if something is painful, it is evil and to be avoided. Then, when I am suffering, I begin to think, and I do not rest until I have discovered some truth which I hope will remove the pain. But I do not think I do this only because I want to avoid suffering: it is rather that I look upon suffering as a sign that I am wrong somehow, that God is displeased with me, and therefore something in me must be changed.

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Posting 36
When you are tempted,
you can do one of three things,
you may give in to the temptation, you may try to resist it by your own strength, or you may come running to Me, and stay with Me. The third is what I want you to do. That is the meaning and purpose of all your temptations, to bring you closer to My Heart, to draw you more deeply into My loving Providence.

You will not have the peace I would give you,
My Peace, in all its perfection, until you are transformed into Me, until your humanity is one with Mine in the Eucharist. This is the gift I would give you. I have shown you all your miseries only to prepare you for that gift, your Eucharistic transformation into Myself.
Yes, you must love, I made you for love. But you must love with My Heart  —  but to prepare yourself to receive My Heart, you must know the uncleanness of your own heart. You must delight to see all Goodness in the Father, and to bring all the souls I send you to the Father. And now that I have shown you your perversity, the fear of yourself which this inspires will dispose you to be in Me always. But you must be vigilant. The God of Israel is a jealous God  —  and if you leave Me for an instant you will have to pay a terrible price. That does not mean that you must always be thinking of Me.  No! but it means you must not ever seek your peace, your consolation, your joy and delight outside of Me.

My beloved child, you tell Me that you cannot love Me as you would unless you feel and experience my love of you.
Do you think that I am less aware of that than you, or that I desire your love less than you desire to give it to Me?  Why then is My Love not manifested to you more? For I am omnipotent, and therefore nothing is lacking on My part to accomplish that which I so much desire.  Do you not see that it is because you do not listen to Me as I tell you that I love you?  You really do not listen to Me, and that is why you cannot hear what you so much desire to hear, and what your heart needs so much to know. Yes, you do not listen to Me, And now I will teach you how to listen.
You must understand that, being human and limited, you can only think of one thing at a time. And I speak to you, deep within yourself, not with the sound of human speech, but spiritually, so very delicately that nothing is easier than for the noise of your own thoughts and desires to drown out My Voice within you. You see, then, how necessary it is for you to be silent with Me, in order to hear the message of love which I speak in your soul.
You do need to be convinced, as you tell Me, that I love you. But what you do not see is how silent you must be within yourself in order to hear Me, But how can you be silent if you are seeking your peace, your happiness and your joy in things outside of Me, and therefore by way of your plans, your ideas, your providence. Do you see? That is why mortification is so necessary. It is not that I need your suffering, but you need to become detached from the things that you would want, that you would want outside of Me, in order to become absorbed in what I want, for you. And that absorption in what I want is the interior silence of your soul, in which you hear Me speaking within you, communicating My Love in a way which inevitably, sweetly yet forcefully, draws your whole being to My Heart.
My child, give Me, therefore, this silence of your heart, let Me speak within you, deep within you, to draw your heart into Mine. The fool is always ready to teach: a wise man is always ready to learn - to learn even as he is teaching.
"I give you a new commandment, that you love one another,
that you love one another as I have loved you."
John 13:34
Notice, the new commandment is not that we love one another, merely, but that we love one another as Jesus Himself has loved us. We are human, but so is Jesus. Being human, we must love with human love, but loving with the Love of Jesus, our human love is His Human Love — and it is likewise divine.
 Notice too, the new commandment is not that we love Jesus Himself, or God, but that we love one another. Because to love truly we must love a human object, an object akin to ourselves. Yet we must not love that object as one human loving another merely— but "that you love one another as I have loved you."

But how did Jesus love us? What is the act of love
if not the union of the persons loving one another? And where was this commandment given? — at the insti­tution of the Holy Eucharist, the feast of love. And the end and substance of this Eucharist is the Mystical Body of Christ.
So that Jesus Himself, a little later, prays to the Father "that they may all be one, as You, Father, are in me and I am in you, that they also may be one in us . . . that they may be one as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may be consummated in unity."
For our nature must be sanctified by love, human
love, or it dies. That was the reason for the
Incarnation — not only to pay our debt by a redeemer, but to make the Redemption efficacious by enabling us to merit our redemption by our love.
And therefore Jesus gives us this last commandment, His new commandment to love one another, not with a natural human love, but with His Human Love—"as Ihave loved you."
If, then, we seek human love outside of Him, we shall love impurely, as everything outside of Jesus is impure — drawing love to ourselves as to its ultimate end. And, again, if we try to avoid the impurity of human love by resisting human love, we sin again, and against this very co-likeness of God Who is Love. All we can do is to stop loving others, and then we love only ourselves.

There is only one solution, therefore — to love one another as Jesus loved us, to strive ceaselessly to be one with one another in Him. Then we shall understand the meaning of our many temptations, that they are the Voice of Jesus saying to us, "See how your own love is impure. Yet you were made of love. Do not strive therefore to crush the love in your heart because you fear the impurity. But use the knowledge I give you of your impurity to glorify your Mother, She who is most pure.
Then, in glorifying her you will have her Purity, and in her you will love your neighbor with Me and in Me.”
Your Mother always wanted what I wanted, only
that, and she always trusted Me at each moment to give her what she needed, just at that moment, to do My Will.
Her perfect joy was always the sign of her perfect obedience and docility.
You must be like her. That is what makes her happy.
And it is only by being in her that you will become like her.