This is why such a soul experiences excessive sadness and despair soon as signs of its own lack of integrity show up, with the consequence that it immediately feels unacceptable to God.  That’s why a sick soul is always hiding the truth from itself, the mechanism for which is endless self-justification. And why the correction of such a soul is always taken as rejection.
On Helping Souls That Are Being Tried
Do not lose your serenity on account of those who are being tried.  Pray for them; offer the sufferings of My Passion and some acts of self-denial, some self-imposed sufferings for them.”
Jesus to Sister Mary of the Holy Trinity
When souls are being tried, what they need from you is deeper love of Me—so that, through you, I may give them the grace they need.  So you see, you need your serenity even more at such times.  Do not try to buy peace for souls by losing your own!  Offer up your act of self-denial at such times, so that the soul who is suffering may get the grace to accept in joy what she cannot change—through your free offering of love.  You will see more and more how you are all instruments in the communication of My Love, for one another as for yourselves.  The more you will understand that, the more you will love one another.
On Feeling Unloved
Only the realization that I love you now, I, Jesus, who know all your misery, all your sins, the failure of your whole life, only the knowledge that I Who know how underserving you are of anyone‘s love, yet love you nevertheless with the Love of God Himself, can take away the pain and anxiety of feeling unloved by so many persons, and not undeservedly.
 The Age of St. Bernard’s is not like Ours.
St. Bernard, commenting on the Canticle (Song of Songs)

"Or perhaps, drawn away and seduced by his own concupiscence, he is still being dangerously tempted. Such a soul as this does not need a Bridegroom but a Physician, and for this reason receives, not kisses or caresses, surely, but only remedies for wounds in oil and ointments."

Yes, Bernard, in your time this was true — for the time had not yet come to force men willy-nilly from the highways and byways to the wedding feast. Men were still strong and able to overcome concupiscence with a help of the Physician less than the Kiss of His Mouth, less than the embrace of His intimacy. But now we are as children, impatient as we are weak, and needing, therefore, to be fondled and kissed by the Mother and her spouse, by Mary and Jesus.  0 Bernard, those of your age, who could help yourselves, needed the Physician only to supply the ointments of which you speak. But we need the Kiss of this Bridegroom who condescends to the weakness of little ones, like this little one who is too weak to help himself and therefore cries out:
"Let him kiss me with the kiss of his mouth, for thy breasts are better than wine.  For my justification now is not that I am healed by the ointments of the Physician, but that I am in the arms of His Mother, that it is her purity that makes me worthy of His embrace, not my virtue."
If Something Is Painful
It seems I always assume that if something is painful, it is evil and to be avoided. Then, when I am suffering, I begin to think, and I do not rest until I have discovered some truth which I hope will remove the pain. But I do not think I do this only because I want to avoid suffering: it is rather that I look upon suffering as a sign that I am wrong somehow, that God is displeased with me, and therefore something in me must be changed.

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Posting 46
When you pray to Me, do not ask for what you need  as though your peace and happiness depended on having what you do not have,
but pray as you are satisfied with what you have now - since that is what I want you to have.
And thus your grateful love of Me in the knowledge and peace in what I have given you will dispose you to receive what I would give you in the next moment.
When you pray without this peace and contentedness, you are not disposed to receive what you are asking for from Me, because you are not peaceful and contented with what I have given you. And this is true and especially important after you have sinned - because then you will be especially tempted to want what you do not have, namely My grace.
It is true, I desire you to want My grace, but that means to want it as I desire to give it to you - which requires that you be peaceful as you are with Me now.
And it is in that very peace that you will discover
My grace rising within you - because I am far more
anxious to give you My grace than you are to obtain it — and therefore, as soon as you are disposed to receive My grace in your peaceful union with Me as you are, you are receiving new graces. For grace begets grace, and it is by My grace that you are silent and peaceful within Me, in the knowledge of your lack of grace.

Ah! if you only knew how many times what you call a “temptation” is really a grace that I offer you, a grace of light, light to see what you really are in yourself! If only you saw how much and how often what you think is your resistance to temptation is actually resistance to the truth! How much of what you think is your religious life is little more than organized hypocrisy!

I give you My Peace. I offer It to you at each moment.
But you can have My Peace only as you are in Me.
Whenever, therefore, you feel that you are losing
your peace, look to see if there is not something
you are desiring outside of Me, and you will always find that there is, even if what you find, what you desire, is something good considered in itself —
because, even if it is good in itself, it is not good
for you if it is not My desire to give it to you at
that moment.
Do you see in this how My Peace is one thing with your silence and poverty? yes, and with your joy? Because your joy is in Me as you are united with the Good you desire in Me, And therefore, when you desire any good outside of Me, you destroy your joy in Me,

Unless you come to Me as you are, I cannot love you as you are  —
which means I cannot love you. Why, then, do
you try so much to come to Me with formulas and
attitudes that do not express yourself — which make it impossible for Me to love you?
Do you want to know why?
It is because you do not understand Me! you do not understand how love and truth are One Identical Being in Me, that I am Truth and I am Love. And I can only love you in truth as I love you for My Goodness, not for your own. You would want Me to love you for good­ness you would see in yourself, outside of Me. That
is a lie —you have no goodness in yourself, and you yourself do not believe in it. Why, then, do you want Me to love you in that lie? Do you not see that it is impossible?
Do you not see that if you do not accept yourself, I cannot accept you? But you can only know the truth about yourself in the knowledge of My
Merciful Love, a Love that asks nothing, absolutely nothing, only that you be willing to receive It.

Do you see, it is not your thoughts about Me which give you your strength - it is your living in Me!
When you are One with Me, My Strength is yours. When you are One with Me, you have, infallibly, what you need for each moment — because you want only what the Father gives you.
Do you not see?
Your perfect peace and contentedness with what He is giving you in this moment is your perfect preparation for what He would give you in the next moment.
Do you see now how when you say "Our Father Who art in Heaven" with the love of a happy, contented little child, your soul is moved
to ask for your daily bread.
Do you see?
When you love the Father in My Peace, it is Our Spirit Who moves you to ask for what the Father would give you?
You do not ask for what you want —you ask for what He wants for you. It is your Father in heaven, My Father, Who wants to give you your daily bread. 
But notice, it is only your daily bread.
Do you not see why? It is because My Father wants you to be receiving what He gives you even as I receive — now.
Do you see?
"Give us this day our daily bread."
"The lord hath said to me: Thou art My Son, this day have I begotten thee."

Now you understand!
Yes, it is your silence in My Heart that teaches you to despise the force of your own attraction to evil. That is how you overcome it — by despising it in My Strength Which is My Love for you.
Do you see?
When you seek to overcome temptation
outside of Me, you do not have the strength you need- because it is not My Strength. But when you are in Me, it is not as though you had first to overcome the Enemy, and then come to Me.
No! the Enemy is overcome when he knows he cannot keep you from Me.
Do you know how he keeps you from Me? By persuading you that you must overcome him first in order to come to Me.
My beloved child, it is so necessary for you to be with Me always. . . not to allow the evil which you do to keep you from Me  ,ever.
Do you understand the words of My 
Paul now? “Therefore I myself with my mind serve the
law of God, but with my flesh the law of sin.” 

But see, "There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
My beloved, there is no condemnation for you because you are in Me. You do not walk according to the flesh, even though the law of your members binds your flesh to sin. For what your flesh seeks, your mind does not consent to:
"Now if I do what I do not wish, it is no longer I
who do it, but the sin that dwells within me."
My beloved little child, be in Me, and do not allow
the Evil One to persuade you that, in Me, you could give your consent to the desires of the sin that dwells within you. As I cannot give consent to what is evil, so you, as you are in Me, cannot give consent.
My beloved little child, believe in My Love for you!

I was so puzzeled that I asked Jesus:
"Dear Jesus, since you want so much to be loved, and certainly you know, far better than I, how we humans need to be convinced that we are loved before we are able to love, then why do You not show Your Love for us in a more human
way, and more frequently?"
Then He answered: Ah! if you knew how that question touches My Sacred Heart! As you say, I know, far better than you could ever know, how much My children depend on human love, how much they need to know that they are loved in order to be able to love. But do you not understand that I do not do everything Myself,
in order that you might be able to complete My work? And especially in the manifestation of human love, which is so important, because it is not merely human, it is the human love of My Humanity which is Divine.
Tell Me, what do you think I meant when I said:
"Cast first the beam out of your own eye, and then
you will know how to heal your neighbor?" And when you have cast out that beam, what do you know? You know how much you need to be loved. Then what does your neighbor need? To be loved! to be loved in such a way that it is I in you who loves, and I in your neighbor who is loved.
That is why  My John, when he was old,
said nothing but "little children love one another,"
because, as he said, that was the only thing that
mattered. Souls are lost because you do not show
them the love that they need in order to be reassured.
"I was hungry, and you gave Me not to eat."

Children must be convinced that they are acceptable and loved, now, just as they are — otherwise they will always try to be what they are not in order to please their authorities — even God.
And this is not opposed to the need for discipline.
Far from it! In fact it is the very opposite: it is
the child who knows he is loved and accepted now, just the way he is, who is most anxious to change and conform himself more and more to a father and mother he loves.
But in order to inculcate this loving discipline, the parents must feel that they too are acceptable
to God and loved by Him, loved  just as they are.
For the Kingdom of Heaven is for children. Yes,
parents too must understand, must believe in God's love for them — as they are, with all the horrible things they know about themselves, and which they know God knows even better than  they.
Parents and children both are My children, and My children must not be made to feel "Now if only you were such and such a way, if only you were a good little boy or girl, then God could love you." That is a lie!
This is the truth: "Because God loves you so much, you will be able to become whatever God wants you to be, just so long as you want it — but you must begin and end by knowing how much He loves you." 
 If you do that, then you will love Him and let Him love you more and more. You cannot buy His love by “being good”  You are good because He loves you and you let Him love you. And you do not love Him first; your love is what He has bought with His Blood.