This is why such a soul experiences excessive sadness and despair soon as signs of its own lack of integrity show up, with the consequence that it immediately feels unacceptable to God.  That’s why a sick soul is always hiding the truth from itself, the mechanism for which is endless self-justification. And why the correction of such a soul is always taken as rejection.
On Helping Souls That Are Being Tried
Do not lose your serenity on account of those who are being tried.  Pray for them; offer the sufferings of My Passion and some acts of self-denial, some self-imposed sufferings for them.”
Jesus to Sister Mary of the Holy Trinity
When souls are being tried, what they need from you is deeper love of Me—so that, through you, I may give them the grace they need.  So you see, you need your serenity even more at such times.  Do not try to buy peace for souls by losing your own!  Offer up your act of self-denial at such times, so that the soul who is suffering may get the grace to accept in joy what she cannot change—through your free offering of love.  You will see more and more how you are all instruments in the communication of My Love, for one another as for yourselves.  The more you will understand that, the more you will love one another.
On Feeling Unloved
Only the realization that I love you now, I, Jesus, who know all your misery, all your sins, the failure of your whole life, only the knowledge that I Who know how underserving you are of anyone‘s love, yet love you nevertheless with the Love of God Himself, can take away the pain and anxiety of feeling unloved by so many persons, and not undeservedly.
 The Age of St. Bernard’s is not like Ours.
St. Bernard, commenting on the Canticle (Song of Songs)

"Or perhaps, drawn away and seduced by his own concupiscence, he is still being dangerously tempted. Such a soul as this does not need a Bridegroom but a Physician, and for this reason receives, not kisses or caresses, surely, but only remedies for wounds in oil and ointments."

Yes, Bernard, in your time this was true — for the time had not yet come to force men willy-nilly from the highways and byways to the wedding feast. Men were still strong and able to overcome concupiscence with a help of the Physician less than the Kiss of His Mouth, less than the embrace of His intimacy. But now we are as children, impatient as we are weak, and needing, therefore, to be fondled and kissed by the Mother and her spouse, by Mary and Jesus.  0 Bernard, those of your age, who could help yourselves, needed the Physician only to supply the ointments of which you speak. But we need the Kiss of this Bridegroom who condescends to the weakness of little ones, like this little one who is too weak to help himself and therefore cries out:
"Let him kiss me with the kiss of his mouth, for thy breasts are better than wine.  For my justification now is not that I am healed by the ointments of the Physician, but that I am in the arms of His Mother, that it is her purity that makes me worthy of His embrace, not my virtue."
If Something Is Painful
It seems I always assume that if something is painful, it is evil and to be avoided. Then, when I am suffering, I begin to think, and I do not rest until I have discovered some truth which I hope will remove the pain. But I do not think I do this only because I want to avoid suffering: it is rather that I look upon suffering as a sign that I am wrong somehow, that God is displeased with me, and therefore something in me must be changed.

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Posting 49
If you do not come to Me at once, whatever your
condition, the reason is that you are looking outside
of Me for something to make you acceptable to Me.
You are trying, therefore, to please Me by an idol.
But I am God, and My rejoicing, therefore, is only in
Myself and in what comes from Me. And this is wisdom,
to know right order, that every creature is from Me
and that no creature is to be preferred before Me.
My child, have you sinned? Then your necessity, your
need of Me is the greater. Therefore, do not postpone
the time of your joy, but permit Me to give you My
joy, My peace, now. And if My peace is darkness to
your soul, then love the darkness which is My Wisdom
for you at this time, and love the correction which
your soul needs. Do not seek to impose the measure
of your wisdom on Mine, but allow yourself to be ruled
by My wisdom, in peace and in silence.

A foolish man, having tasted a fruit, seeks this
same fruit ceaselessly, but a wise man rejoices in
the fruit which is given to him.

The one fool seeks to buy Love with his works:
the other uses My Mercy to justify sloth and sin.
The wise man knows and understands Mercy: he
receives Mercy as he mortifies himself with Love.

 My trust in Your Mercy, Jesus, is  my confidence
in the power of  my will to do all the things that
please You - but only as  my will is moved by Your
Love as I give myself to you, now.

Adults learn through words — but the infant learns
by the love of its mother. That is the way I want
you to learn.

I am teaching you now to be desolate and joyful
at once. That is most necessary for you.
Do you know how to achieve that? By believing in  My Love
for you. In order to teach you how to do that, I take
everything else away from you. Yes, you must be
without human support in order to depend totally
on Mine. Remember Peter coming to Me over the water?
When he began to think of his own resources he began
to sink. That was why I rebuked him for his little
faith. Think! How many times have I had to rebuke you?

You must be on your guard about your joy. Your joy
is the sign that you are loving Me. When you get
depressed it is because you are not united with Me.
I want you, therefore, to use your joy and sadness
as signs which I give you to guide yourself. There
is a good sadness which is always with joy, the sadness for your offenses against Me, but as soon as you begin to feel a depressing sadness you must renew your union with Me, you must drop everything and come back to the one thing necessary. All evil comes from neglecting to do this, from getting lost in yourself — and you do this very quickly, without realizing it.
It is when you lose your joy, your joy in Me, that the
Enemy sees the chance to seduce you, to offer you joy in sin.
Yes, you do not realize how ready you are to stop
loving Me when you have to suffer.
Without realizing it you feel that there must be something wrong when I send you suffering, and that is not chiefly because you are ungenerous and do not want to suffer. No! It
is because you feel rejected when you have to suffer, especially when you are aware that you have offended Me. Then you assume that if I loved you, if I was not rejecting you, you would not be suffering — whereas the contrary is the case: it is because I love you that I send you suffering. Because when you endure suffering with fortitude, you are loving Me more as
you rejoice, mystically, in Me and in what I give you, even as you are being destroyed in yourself by My gift.
Yes, as you turn away from what conforms to yourself,
to Me, you are growing in My Love. But you can only
grow in love by becoming more and more conformed
to Me, only by becoming more and more disconformed
to yourself. "Unless you pick up your cross and
follow Me. you cannot be My disciple." 
Do you think it is by chance that My Eucharist, Myself Whom I have left with you, appears as it does!
Consider! Every appearance to the eye is of some form and color. And what is the form of My Eucharist? It is round, the most simple of all forms, so simple that in looking at it you are scarcely aware of its form. And as its form, so its color. For as a minimum of form is necessary in order for a thing to be visible
at all, so a minimum of color is also necessary. And so, as the sensible form of the Eucharist is so to speak without form, so its color is so to speak colorless.
And now think why this should be! Can you see why?
I will tell you. It is because that is the way I
want your mind to be, your imagination, your memory,
when you contemplate My Eucharist, empty, without
any form. And why? Because the Mystery you are contemplating as you behold Me in the Eucharist is
beyond any form which you could possibly conceive.
And yet, consciously or unconsciously, you are
forever seeking to be united with Me in and through
some form or concept you have of Me. And so, since,
as the philosophers say, the mind becomes what it
contemplates, I have given you the nothingness of
everything sensible and intelligible to contemplate
as you contemplate Me — knowing by faith that the
Object beneath what you see is Myself — so that in
this way you may be united to Me in the purity of your
own nothingness.
And in this way, giving up everything for Me, in Me
you find everything, and more and more, more than
anything you could possibly conceive, for all the
sweetness of all that you desire is in Me — and so
very much more than that. Thus it is through the
sensible emptiness of My Sacrament of Love that you
will find Me, "Jesu dulcissime.” "Blessed are the
clean of heart, for they shall see God,” Let me teach
you this purity of heart in the contemplation of
My Eucharist!