This is why such a soul experiences excessive sadness and despair soon as signs of its own lack of integrity show up, with the consequence that it immediately feels unacceptable to God.  That’s why a sick soul is always hiding the truth from itself, the mechanism for which is endless self-justification. And why the correction of such a soul is always taken as rejection.
On Helping Souls That Are Being Tried
Do not lose your serenity on account of those who are being tried.  Pray for them; offer the sufferings of My Passion and some acts of self-denial, some self-imposed sufferings for them.”
Jesus to Sister Mary of the Holy Trinity
When souls are being tried, what they need from you is deeper love of Me—so that, through you, I may give them the grace they need.  So you see, you need your serenity even more at such times.  Do not try to buy peace for souls by losing your own!  Offer up your act of self-denial at such times, so that the soul who is suffering may get the grace to accept in joy what she cannot change—through your free offering of love.  You will see more and more how you are all instruments in the communication of My Love, for one another as for yourselves.  The more you will understand that, the more you will love one another.
On Feeling Unloved
Only the realization that I love you now, I, Jesus, who know all your misery, all your sins, the failure of your whole life, only the knowledge that I Who know how underserving you are of anyone‘s love, yet love you nevertheless with the Love of God Himself, can take away the pain and anxiety of feeling unloved by so many persons, and not undeservedly.
 The Age of St. Bernard’s is not like Ours.
St. Bernard, commenting on the Canticle (Song of Songs)

"Or perhaps, drawn away and seduced by his own concupiscence, he is still being dangerously tempted. Such a soul as this does not need a Bridegroom but a Physician, and for this reason receives, not kisses or caresses, surely, but only remedies for wounds in oil and ointments."

Yes, Bernard, in your time this was true — for the time had not yet come to force men willy-nilly from the highways and byways to the wedding feast. Men were still strong and able to overcome concupiscence with a help of the Physician less than the Kiss of His Mouth, less than the embrace of His intimacy. But now we are as children, impatient as we are weak, and needing, therefore, to be fondled and kissed by the Mother and her spouse, by Mary and Jesus.  0 Bernard, those of your age, who could help yourselves, needed the Physician only to supply the ointments of which you speak. But we need the Kiss of this Bridegroom who condescends to the weakness of little ones, like this little one who is too weak to help himself and therefore cries out:
"Let him kiss me with the kiss of his mouth, for thy breasts are better than wine.  For my justification now is not that I am healed by the ointments of the Physician, but that I am in the arms of His Mother, that it is her purity that makes me worthy of His embrace, not my virtue."
If Something Is Painful
It seems I always assume that if something is painful, it is evil and to be avoided. Then, when I am suffering, I begin to think, and I do not rest until I have discovered some truth which I hope will remove the pain. But I do not think I do this only because I want to avoid suffering: it is rather that I look upon suffering as a sign that I am wrong somehow, that God is displeased with me, and therefore something in me must be changed.

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When You Get Sad
When you get sad, look and see if it is not because you had identified being united with Me in some way that I had been pleased to use in the past — and now when I no longer come to you in that way, it seems that I have deserted you. Do you see? Do you understand how important it is to be poor, to give everything away, even My consolations?
And do you see how your suffering this way is the work of my Love, My Love which is constantly teaching you to want only Me, to despise everything else? I never leave you, but you must learn to love Me in Myself, to understand that whatever it is I send you is My token of love, My embrace — but it is not Myself — and therefore it is good only as coming from Me at that moment.
I Am Not Displeased With You
In reality I am not displeased with you at all — I want you to become more pleasing to Me because I am so pleased with you already — and as soon as you form the intention of wanting to know what it is that displeases Me, I am more pleased with you — you are doing what you are able to do now to please Me, and then I will show you what it is I want you to change in My good time.
But you must be on your guard against thinking that I will not be pleased with you until you know exactly what it is.
I am pleased with you, delighted with you when you want what I want when I want it — and until I show you what it is, I do not want to show it to you, I do not want you to know what it is, and when you love Me in your ignorance of what it is, you are most pleasing to Me — because you are wanting what I want when I want it, because I want it.  You are not wanting to know your hidden defect now — because I do not want you to know it now.
Your Purification
The essential suffering of your purification is for you to be seeing, again and again, how there is nothing of your own by which you can please Me, nothing which does not come from Me. That is the meaning of the story of the Syro-Phoenician woman. Her daughter, possessed by a devil, symbolizes a soul in the clutches of the evil spirit. She comes to Me, and I tell her that she is not fit to sit at the table with the children of God. That is what I tell each soul that comes to Me, asking to be freed from the grip of the Evil One.  Do I tell the soul who seeks Me this in order to reject her? The very opposite!  I tell her this in order to purify her, to make her seek all her justification in Me — none in herself apart from Me.  And then, as with the Syro-Phoenician woman, I praise the soul‘s faith in the end, because it has been so great, relying totally on My Goodness and Love, as I have been teaching the soul to do.
And notice, this faith has to develop in the face of overwhelming evidence that the soul was being rejected by Me. Only the fortitude of My Spirit can sustain you in this struggle. The more you would come to Me, the more I appear totally to reject you — and this ‘rejection’ is in truth the reward of your love and of your confidence — the apparent rejection which can be so great as to overwhelm you is the grace I offer you to believe in My Love even more — just because you see that there is nothing in yourself to merit it.
 It is not only that I seem to be rejecting you — I show you, in the very depths of your soul, and at the same time, that that is all you deserve — to be rejected by Me, now and forever. And it is in the depth of this knowledge, a knowledge of your hopeless unworthiness of My Love that I am asking you to believe totally in It.
Do you understand, then. how this mortification must at once touch the very depths of your soul as I communicate to it the depth of My Love? The word of God is indeed a double-edged sword that cleaves between the soul and the spirit, between the principle of your life in yourself and the principle of your life in Me. And thus it is that as I destroy you all through the day, I am overwhelming you with My Love. And thus it is too that unless you embrace this suffering you cannot be My disciple, you cannot be purified by Me — because I purify you as I destroy you, as I reject everything in you which is not in Myself.
Thus you need, not only the fortitude of My Spirit, in order to pursue this Good which is Myself, totally beyond your poor acts, however valiant, but together with this fortitude you need the understanding of My Spirit as well — in order to judge as I judge, when the judgment that I love you is contradicted by all the evidence available to your natural understanding. And this is why all My friends have to embrace suffering — because the love of suffering is the love of being ‘rejected’ by Me as you are being separated from anything in yourself which could make you think you were pleasing Me. My friends understand that they are being loved only when they are overwhelmed by the evil which I show them in themselves. And it is thus that the counsel of My Spirit teaches them to pursue this suffering, to rejoice in being ‘separated’ from the Father with Me, crying out to this Father with Me,  "Why hast thou forsaken me?"
Understand, My little child, then, how necessary it is for you to embrace suffering, the suffering of being rejected by Me in the knowledge of your evil. Until now you have been trying to please Me as you pleased yourself. But that has been the lie of your being: You cannot serve God and Mammon. You have been trying to do this because you have not distinguished, really, between pleasing Me and pleasing yourself. But now I have taught you what this is. You please Me as you are overwhelmed by your evil, your corruption, your total incapacity for any good whatsoever. If you continue to seek to please Me, therefore, as you try to take complacency in yourself, you will only speak lies in your soul, and then you will force Me to chastise you all the more profoundly. It is hard to kick against the goad. Therefore, pick up your cross and follow Me, and together we will be forsaken by the Father as you are in my Heart and I an in yours. Let Me love you with all the love I have for you!
Seeing Your Weaknesses With Simplicity
To those who see their weaknesses with simplicity, and turn to the Merciful Love of the Father in the Son, He gives strength to overcome. But those who would live a lie, making their very uncleaness appear clean, to themselves and to others, He chastises even in His Love, that they might begin to see the evil of their ways, and beg for light to see, because the hardness of their hearts has made them blind.  "0 Lord, that I might see."  0 lord, let me drink from the springs of the fountain of Your Truths.  For what is more terrible than to be torn between You, Jesus, Who are Truth, and the lie of my own being outside of You?  0 Jesus, deliver me from the wicked man who is myself, that I may be always, at every moment, in You, in Our Blessed Mother.
Try Very Hard to Understand This
Try very hard to understand this, because it is most important in learning to grow in My Love. The very moment when you become aware of an actual evil inclination, or some fault or sin in yourself, the previous moment in which you were guilty of that defect no longer exists. The grace I give you now is the grace of giving yourself to Me now, in the knowledge of your evil disposition in yourself. If you do not give yourself to Me now, it is because you see the past as the present, because your pride will not permit you to forgive yourself — because you really believe that your evil is greater than My Heart. You do that because you do not understand My Love.
This is what you must understand and teach everyone: Your sins, your vices, even the actual evil inclinations you feel in yourself at this moment, mean absolutely nothing to Me in themselves. The one thing I want, and the one thing that I scarcely ever get, even from My friends, is to be permitted to give Myself.  And all the evil you see in yourself has only one meaning for Me, that you, knowing it, may permit Me to give Myself  to you, to love you as I desire to love you, and to glorify the Father in loving you thus:  by making you lovable, by removing all the evil from your soul in the very act of loving you.  Do you understand?
Do you penetrate the loving impatience of My loving invitation: "Come over to Me, all ye who desire Me”?   Come to Me, come to My Heart, and be filled with My consolations, in the knowledge that you are loved, all, by Me in the Father.  In Me you find none of the bitterness that engulfs you when you are in yourself.  I leave you with that bitterness in yourself only to move you to leave yourself to come over to Me.
If you will be faithful to My invitation, you will see again and again, by your own experience, how your miseries dissolve and vanish in My Love. That is the meaning of your miseries — to prove to you the Power of My Love. Why do you not listen to Me, then, and be filled with My Joy which I give to you? Why do you listen to the Evil One more than to Me, to the Evil One who seeks day and night to convince you that your evil makes it impossible for you to come to Me? That is the justice of hell, to think you must be good in order to come to Me. I have come to save sinners. I have paid with all My Blood for each and every one of your sins — only to convince you that I am waiting for you now, to overwhelm you with My Love.
Do not deprive Me, then, of the fruit and joy of My Blood. You have been purchased at a great Price. Therefore come to Me now, all, that I may take My delight in you, that I may bring you to the Father, in Me, that I may rejoice to hear Him say of you, one with Me, "This is My beloved son in Whom I am well pleased."