This is why such a soul experiences excessive sadness and despair soon as signs of its own lack of integrity show up, with the consequence that it immediately feels unacceptable to God.  That’s why a sick soul is always hiding the truth from itself, the mechanism for which is endless self-justification. And why the correction of such a soul is always taken as rejection.
On Helping Souls That Are Being Tried
Do not lose your serenity on account of those who are being tried.  Pray for them; offer the sufferings of My Passion and some acts of self-denial, some self-imposed sufferings for them.”
Jesus to Sister Mary of the Holy Trinity
When souls are being tried, what they need from you is deeper love of Me—so that, through you, I may give them the grace they need.  So you see, you need your serenity even more at such times.  Do not try to buy peace for souls by losing your own!  Offer up your act of self-denial at such times, so that the soul who is suffering may get the grace to accept in joy what she cannot change—through your free offering of love.  You will see more and more how you are all instruments in the communication of My Love, for one another as for yourselves.  The more you will understand that, the more you will love one another.
On Feeling Unloved
Only the realization that I love you now, I, Jesus, who know all your misery, all your sins, the failure of your whole life, only the knowledge that I Who know how underserving you are of anyone‘s love, yet love you nevertheless with the Love of God Himself, can take away the pain and anxiety of feeling unloved by so many persons, and not undeservedly.
 The Age of St. Bernard’s is not like Ours.
St. Bernard, commenting on the Canticle (Song of Songs)

"Or perhaps, drawn away and seduced by his own concupiscence, he is still being dangerously tempted. Such a soul as this does not need a Bridegroom but a Physician, and for this reason receives, not kisses or caresses, surely, but only remedies for wounds in oil and ointments."

Yes, Bernard, in your time this was true — for the time had not yet come to force men willy-nilly from the highways and byways to the wedding feast. Men were still strong and able to overcome concupiscence with a help of the Physician less than the Kiss of His Mouth, less than the embrace of His intimacy. But now we are as children, impatient as we are weak, and needing, therefore, to be fondled and kissed by the Mother and her spouse, by Mary and Jesus.  0 Bernard, those of your age, who could help yourselves, needed the Physician only to supply the ointments of which you speak. But we need the Kiss of this Bridegroom who condescends to the weakness of little ones, like this little one who is too weak to help himself and therefore cries out:
"Let him kiss me with the kiss of his mouth, for thy breasts are better than wine.  For my justification now is not that I am healed by the ointments of the Physician, but that I am in the arms of His Mother, that it is her purity that makes me worthy of His embrace, not my virtue."
If Something Is Painful
It seems I always assume that if something is painful, it is evil and to be avoided. Then, when I am suffering, I begin to think, and I do not rest until I have discovered some truth which I hope will remove the pain. But I do not think I do this only because I want to avoid suffering: it is rather that I look upon suffering as a sign that I am wrong somehow, that God is displeased with me, and therefore something in me must be changed.

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   Posting Fifteen

Preface to the Stations of the Cross
The whole meaning and purpose of the Stations of the Cross is that you may first prepare to die to yourself, in Jesus, and then die with Him so that, dead to yourself in Him, you may receive everything from the Father. This is the meaning and purpose of your whole life, the perfect preparation for your final death, and for your eternal life in heaven. 

And thus, as you follow Jesus to His death, the truth is that it is you at this time, not Jesus in Himself, but Jesus in you, who are going to your Calvary as He went before you. The death Jesus died, He died only once, and now He can die no more, in Himself. But in you He longs to die once again-that He may live in you, which is the fulfillment of His own dying. 

Therefore, now, as you follow Jesus on His way, you are not alone.  He, looking across the centuries, sees you in Himself as He sees Himself in you. For as He went to His death, you were perfectly present in His mind, just as you are at this very moment.  It is your desire to console Him as He suffered on His way to Calvary, and that is why you want to follow Him.  It is important, therefore, for you to understand how Jesus wants to be consoled.
It is natural for us to want to console Him as we would want to be consoled in our suffering. And Jesus understands this natural response of our love, and He is grateful for it. But true love always seeks to understand the beloved, and to give him, not so much what we would be moved spontaneously to give him but what the beloved would want to receive.  You must realize, therefore, that the purpose of Jesus in his suffering and dying for us was not primarily to draw our sympathy to Himself but to give Himself to us. And, therefore, you will console Him best, not so much by feeling sorry for Him but by disposing yourself more and more to receive His Love, by suffering with Him and in Him as He would have you suffer, by suffering what He is teaching you to suffer as you follow Him.
The end and purpose of your suffering is to be united with Jesus, and in Him with the Father. And, therefore, you need to suffer by being separated from everything that conforms to your own fallen nature and which would, therefore, keep your heart closed to His Love. That is the suffering which prepares you for His Love, and the love of the Father.  You can only be prepared for the love of the Father by being separated from everything that conforms to yourself, by a loving submission to His violence which will draw you from your own thoughts, your own desires, and from everything that would satisfy them.
This separation from your love of yourself has to be violent because you would never choose it of yourself.  By its very purpose it has to be contrary to your natural inclinations. The Father alone knows and wills what is necessary for you to suffer, and what He sends, in His Loving Wisdom, is just what you need. "Not by bread alone does man live, but by every word that comes out of the mouth of the Father."  And thus, by giving your consent to what you need to suffer, to everything that the Father sends, your suffering is made free and meritorious.
Thus your compassionating of Jesus will consist, not so much in what you give as in what you receive.  You will console Jesus as you suffer with Him, then, by a free submission to His Love, by becoming more and more disposed to receive Him. But to do this you must remove the impediments to His Love from your soul. 
What is it in yourself, then, which resists His Love?  It is not your weaknesses, not even your bad habits; Jesus came to save sinners and it is nothing for Him to overcome the most vicious of habits.  No, the impediment to His Love and to His grace is not your weakness, not your bad habits alone; the essential impediment is your lying and your hypocrisy, your deep and hidden desire to convince yourself of your own goodness; your goodness in yourself-when all the force of your experience and of the truth is to convince you of the opposite, that whatever is your own and not in Jesus is corrupt.
Do you not see?  That is what Jesus taught again and again by the example of the scribes and the Pharisees in the Gospel. And who are the scribes and Pharisees? They are the hypocrites and liars, they whose minds were closed to the Truth because they had made themselves the truth, using their minds only to justify and glorify themselves.  Was it not they who crucified Jesus-they, the living embodiment of hypocrisy and lies?  How, then, do you crucify Him if not by your hypocrisy and lies by which you would make yourself just-and Jesus a liar since He came in order to make you just?
If, then, you would console Jesus, is it not clear that you must do the contrary of what the scribes and Pharisees did?  Must you not hate the liar and hypocrite who is yourself outside of Jesus?  If you would console Jesus, is it not clear that you must hate what crucified Him?
And now do you understand a little better? You desire to console Jesus, and He loves you for that. But you cannot console Him except by receiving His Love; but you are indisposed to receive His Love in the measure that you are confirmed in the love of yourself. And what is it that confirms you in your self-love if not the conviction of your hardened heart that you are good in yourself, the conviction of your lies and hypocrisy?  What prevents you from taking delight in Jesus except the delight you take in yourself apart from Him as you deny the testimony of the Spirit of Truth within your own soul? 
Your consolation of Jesus, therefore, will be in the joy of your suffering with Him, a joy in the Truth as you see Him destroying the lies which are one with your very being; a joy which realizes how necessary this suffering is to destroy the lies which keep you the slave of Satan.
And now you will be able to see how at each Station Jesus persuades you to turn away a little more from the lies that close your heart to His Love. And then you will learn by the sweet experience of the truth as you suffer with Him how much He desires to give Himself to you, and you will realize that the only limitation of His Love in you is your own indisposition to receive It.
[OMIT from Posting 15] And thus, since the whole purpose of following Jesus is to become one with Him as you die to yourself, to glorify the Father in the knowledge of your nothingness, by your disposition to receive everything from Him as the Son receives everything from the Father, now pray the Our Father with this intention. And since everything which you receive from the Father is received as you are one with Jesus in Mary, now say three Hail Mary's, the first with the intention of receiving everything from the Father with Mary and in Mary, His child now as she is His Child; the second as you are mystically the Mother of Jesus, in Mary, bringing Him forth in souls even as Mary brings Him forth; the third as in Mary you are the spouse of the Holy Spirit as she is His Spouse.
Finally, consider that the Father is glorified by us as we are one, each in the other in Jesus, as He is One with the Father, and then say a Glory Be to the Father to the Blessed Trinity for that intention, that we may be one, each in the other in Jesus, as He is One with the Father in the Love of the Holy Spirit.